'The X Factor' recap: A Night at the Obscure Movies

marcus-canty-fox-thumb-315xauto-32703.jpgFlashback to last week, with twelve performances, the judges' gushings, and their votes on which of the bottom two (Stereo Hogzz or InTENsity) they were going to send home. The editing makes it look like both Stereo Hogzz and InTENsity were literally rocked by the votes, but it was InTENsity that was eliminated from the competition. Don't worry, I'm sure they'll totally stay together. It's "Movie Night" now, but I'm going to skip past the previews that hint at what that means and skip right to what we all came here for. Which was...what, again?

Auditorium, audience, Steve, more reminders that it's Movie Night, etc. Steve explains that means all of tonight's songs are from "iconic movie soundtracks." We'll be the judge of that. He introduces the judges as "four superheroes-slash-villains," and then L.A., Nicole, Paula and Simon come out onstage to the strains of the Star Wars Main Title theme, I guess because the old opera cue was just too bombastic. Steve tells us once again that the winner gets a five million dollar recording contract, so as a taste of what kind of life that could bring, this week they got to attend the red-carpet premier of... Jack and Jill. So fabulously rich celebrities don't get to pick their own movies, then? They all interview about the dazzling experience, and getting to spot the likes of Katie Holmes, Neil Diamond, Jane Seymour and Al Pacino. Not to mention lead actor Adam Sandler, who hobnobs with all of them in between clips of the movie that don't make me want to see it any more than I already didn't.

Coming back, Steve sings out, "Glamorous!" and gives the floor to Nicole to introduce the first of the Over 30s, Stacy Francis, who will be singing a selection from The Bodyguard. In her intro reel, Stacy says she's never been this happy, although she misses being with her kids (I'm inferring the "although"). Nicole interviews that Stacy's song tonight is out of her comfort zone. L.A. thinks it's a bad song choice, even though he co-wrote it, but here she is, singing "Queen of the Night." She's in a rejected Wonder Woman costume redesigns made of rad naugahyde, with her hair done up so she's all forehead. And there are dancers swinging around on monkey bars and...I'm sorry, she just sounds like ass. This is not her kind of song. Back to your comfort zone, Stacy, stat. When she's done, L.A. tells her he didn't like the song much, but she did better than he expected. He's still wondering why she didn't do "I Will Always Love You," and instead of saying that would be capitally obvious, she says she wanted to "step it up and dance." L.A. would rather let her off the hook than watch her waggle her hair around any more. Paula says she never liked the song (with its co-writer sitting right there), but Stacy "delivered." Simon says she looks cute, "but I would have you wearing that somewhere else." Like the set of Battlestar Galactica for instance? The audience and Paula try to shout down Simon (with Stacy's encouragement), and Nicole goes full Paula about Stacy being a queen from within. L.A. throws in, "I like you better when you cry." Since when? Steve makes with the voting instructions and goes to the break.

Oh, an ad for Jack and Jill. What a coincidence.