'Trophy Wife' 'The Date' best lines: #drunkmoms and more

trophy-wife-the-date.jpg "Trophy Wife" has quickly become my new favorite comedy of the fall 2013 TV season. It's sharp, goofy and has a lot of heart, anchored by a stellar cast. "The Date" offered some fun and rare pairings of Meg & Diane and Kate & Jackie, plus a Bert, Warren and Hillary YouTube show about bubble gum. Let's dive into the best lines:

Kate: "No exes, Jackie's been here way too much."
Pete: "You're right. Last week I caught her putting goat's milk on the shopping list."

Diane: "I'll just have Kate bring it, she's never doing anything."
Bert: "Oh, she's very busy. They're having a grown-up party, no kids allowed."
Diane: "Then what's Kate doing there? ... It's comical because she's younger."
Bert: "That's mean."

Meg: "Lighten up, Diane. A lot of my cousins have Hep C and they didn't get it from playing beer pong."
Diane: "Oh, just what I need. A lecture from patient zero."

Meg: "What's happening, party sex?"
Pete: "That's not you and Steve?"
Meg: "I don't think so, but I'm pretty drunk."

Diane: "What on earth is number drunk moms?"
Hillary: "It's #drunkmoms."
Diane: "Make it go away."
Hillary: "I can't, I didn't upload it."
Diane: "Huh?"
Hillary: "OK, you seriously need to learn how the internet works."
Diane: "Make it go away."
Hillary: "I can't, only Meg can."
Diane: "I didn't know that drunk could even afford the internet."

Jackie: "Hey, your pool filter kind of stretched out my bra and I hate to charge you for it, so ... just gimme one of yours?"

Jackie: "See mystery's too mysterious for me because I am an open book. Page one, mommy issues. Page two, grandma issues. Page three, conflicted pescatarian."

Meg: "Play me in beer pong for it."
Diane: "That is absurd. Is that how you and these other hobos settle your disputes."
Meg: "Sounds to me like you're afraid I'll win."
Diane: "You're on. One re-rack, no fixing, no blowing, no squatting. On-table rollbacks and death cup OK, but no iso cup and bouncing is for b****es."

Sad Steve: "How do you ask a woman not to wax?"

Did you enjoy "The Date"?
Photo/Video credit: ABC