'True Blood' recap: The Handmaid's Fail

true-blood-sookie.jpgSookie's grossed out by Eric's whole deal with buying her house and trying to own her, and explains the conundrum of being a Modern Woman. A Modern Woman who dates vampires, and is also part faerie, and whose brother is King of the Panther Crackheads. She is happy to see Tara back in town, but not enough to actually hang out with her, since she's got to go flirt/yell at Eric for buying her a microwave oven. His point, which Pam also tries to explain, is that vampires are going to eat her and she needs a vampire/manly protector, but you know she's not hearing that ****.

What she is hearing is Jessica, making out with adorable boys in the bathroom at Fangtasia!, and screaming at Sookie for acting like her stepmother for just trying to help her out. Jessica is, awesomely and terrifyingly, becoming quite the wild card. Meanwhile, Hoyt is finding post-Russell Edgington life to be rough. As a gorgeous, tall young white man with a great job, I think we can agree that Hoyt has seen enough oppression already.

Bill, good Lord so much cool Bill stuff, going around banging fangbangers and being King of Louisiana and a double- or triple-agent or whatever is still pretty dorky but also great at the same time. Turns out Nan Flanagan's SWAT team interrupted his parlay with Sophie-Anne last year and assassinated her, to put Bill on throne... Even though both Bill and Nan have been secretly helping the AVL undermine the monarchy (and Authority) since 1982. Brilliant, this bit.