'True Blood' recap: This Place About to Blow

true-blood-season-5.jpgJessica tries to get Bill to let her out of the Authority compound, to warn Jason that Russell and Steve are looking for Sookie, but Bill is insane now, so instead he sends her to turn Jason into a vampire. Unacceptable. They kill her vampire bodyguards, and she runs to Fangtasia!, where she earns her safety by telling Pam she knows where Eric is. Tara denies having a crush on Pam, protesting a bit too much, but the real interesting info is that the Authority now qualifies as a Nest, as in Season One's Dragon House, and that's part of the reason Bill is acting so crazy. The other part of why they are getting so weird is, um, they are on drugs.

Sookie meets with the amazing otherworldly Elder of Faerielande, while Jason allows himself to be glamoured by Steve and Russell so they can be ambushed by the faeries. This part was pretty good, but there were some sadly misjudged jokes that either weren't funny in the first place, or aren't funny now, but either way it's meant to be topical -- and for most people probably just referencing Ke$ha and Boys II Men is the same hilarious thing as actually making a funny joke about those things, which is not actually what happened. Anyway, when it all comes down, Russell overpowers the Elder and drains her, allowing him to detect Faerielande. I loved, loved, loved the Faerie Elder, and was sad to see her go. She was like from space! She was like the Godric of weirdness!

You know who is kind of the new Godric is Jessica. Anyway, Rosalyn shows up at Fangtasia! looking for Elijah -- her gross progeny, turns out -- and Pam takes the fall. So now Pam and Jessica -- as well as Luna and Sam -- are back in custody at the Authority. (At one point, Sam offers himself to Bill as lunch, hopefully with sexy results.) Over the episode, Lilith "appears" to Bill, Candyman, and Salome, telling each of them that they're the Chosen One and they need to kill the other ones and blah-blee-bloo revolutions always turn to the right meep-morp. It's about as subtle and silly as the David Petraeus lookalike showing up at the Authority to remind everybody that America will totally destroy all vampires if necessary.