Tumblr We Love: Suri's Burn Book - A study in Suri and the people who disappoint her
That's why we're glad we've got Suri's Burn Book to do it for us. The parody Tumblr is run by a fake Suri Cruise, who remarks on her fellow famous kids without mincing words. The tagline? "Just because you don't have a Ferragamo handbag doesn't mean you can behave like a child. (I'm looking at you, Shiloh.)"
Recently, when it was revealed that Justin Bieber had accidentally sent Cruz Beckham a guitar that he signed for Pax Jolie-Pitt, "Suri" was simply appalled. "Oh, good gracious. Mistaking a Beckham for a Jolie-Pitt is like mistaking a Chanel bag for a hobo bindle," she writes.
She evaluates her peers with a (naturally) biased eye, based on how they threaten her status as most beloved celebrity child. Let's just say that she isn't Blue Ivy Carter's biggest fan -- though she'll consider making friends with Reese Witherspoon's bundle of joy. " This baby will only be a half-celebrity and will surely have good manners, so I don't ultimately see this as a threat. In fact, I see this as an act of goodwill toward society."
Her greatest targets, though, are not children at all. They are her parents.