'Ugly Betty': Goodbye braces
Betty wakes up in a really great mood. It's the day her braces come off and the whole family is psyched for her! In the midst of the celebration, Justin is trying to get a hold of Austin, the guy who kissed him in the last episode.
Over at Marc and Amanda's apartment, Marc wakes up to find Tyler in his kitchen wearing Amanda's pink top. Apparently, he slept over. Aw, they kissed for the first time and Amanda thinks it's the start of something real. Marc tells her that if she thinks it's real, she should tell Daniel. Someone is going to flip.
At the orthodontist's office, the chatty Dr. Frankel (played by Kathy Najimy) is getting on Betty's nerves. It's picture day at Mode and she can't wait to get her first ID picture without braces. Just as Betty has convinced Dr. Frankel to shut up and start cutting the darn things out of her mouth, the fire alarm and the sprinklers go off. Better luck next picture day, Betty.
Back at Mode, Betty is totally depressed that her picture won't be brace-less. Judging by the wet poodle look she's rocking after the sprinkler thing, braces seem to be the least of her worries. So, Marc decides to "help" by photoshopping the image. After he's done, Betty's ID picture ends up blond and blue-eyed. She looks like Jean Smart "Designing Women."
Claire is back from France and Daniel is giving her the cold shoulder. He's still grudge.com over her keeping the secret of Tyler all these years. Add the fact that he hates his new half-brother to the pile of angry Daniel is carrying around and things aren't looking good for Claire or Amanda's news later.
At his meeting, Daniel announces that he has gotten the "million dollar bra," (MDB) a diamond encrusted boulder holder, for the next cover of Mode. Claps erupt from everyone but Willie, who is more surprised that Daniel has done something right... until she opens Daniel's "bra-tinerary and realizes they're scheduled to shoot the bra at the same time it's supposedly on a plane for Cairo. Oops.
While Daniel tries to fix the schedule, Amanda comes in. Nice timing, right? When she tells him that she's getting serious with Tyler, he tells her to get out. Sadness. When he talks to Betty, she tells him that maybe Amanda wanted something more than a "casual" thing. Bombshell: Daniel says he could do more than casual if he knew. Truth or jealousy talking?
A whole new Suarez
Betty offers to contact her friend who assists Eve, the president of the company that created the MDB. She tells Betty that they should meet at the Guggenheim and see if they can pull something together. When she arrives, security is high around the MDB and when Betty produces Marc's version of her I.D., the security guard flags her. Then, her braces set off the metal detector. In a very new Betty move, she tells the guard off and makes her way into the museum. Excuse me, mini-mina! Then, she gets tackled by a guard and hits her head. After some crazy twilight zone stuff, she wakes up and she's dressed to the nines, not wearing glasses and she doesn't have braces! Then, Dr. Frankel, now her guardian angel, tells her that she wished she was born with perfect teeth and now her wish has been granted.
Everything is different and she has now moved into Casa Suarez. Then, guess who comes out of the Mexican Embassy, I mean Casa Suarez, but a fat Hilda and her father looking pretty snazzy. I'm loving the cheese factor here. Betty was born without braces and suddenly a whole new world of opportunity opens up.
At Mode, Betty runs into dumpy Marc and he has a little African-American baby. He's a dumpy gay? Then Betty's new "bestie," Amanda, shows up. She's bedecked in furs and stealing money from the petty cash. But, Amanda points out that it isn't stealing when you own half the company! Yep, in this alternate world, Daniel and Amanda are "Danianda"! OK, that was good for just making it up on the spot. Then, Betty discovers that she's managing editor. Here's the sad part. She runs into Daniel's office to celebrate with him and it's clear they're not friends. They're not even frenemies!
Turns out that the straight teeth got her a job as Willie's assistant and pushed Marc to reception. Then, Dr. Frankel explains that Claire Meade also hates her and that Marc resents her. Just as Betty is getting the full picture, Hilda visits. She tells Betty that she doesn't want her to be her bridesmaid, because she doesn't want to be outshined on her wedding day. Then, the saddest news of all! Justin doesn't exist, since Hilda's looks were like ultra-strength birth control! As Hilda leaves in a huff, Daniel comes in.
It looks like pretty Betty was part of a plan to sabotage Daniel's MDB shoot and she's in cahoots with Willie! By the way, Daniel and Betty slept with each other. This episode is blowing my mind.
After finding Amanda cheating with Tyler in her office, snazzy Ignacio shows up. On closer inspection, he looks more like a pimp than snazzy as I wrote before. He needs $40,000 quick or his bookie will get him. Lucky for Betty, she now carries thousands of dollars in her purse.
Betty decides that she's going to fix the MDB debacle for Daniel, and then she sees Willie wearing it. Willie screams for help and, once again, security knocks Betty to the ground. Ouch.
Back where Betty is "ugly"
Daniel finds her on the ground of the Guggenheim and it's back to life as normal. But when she tries to find the MDB, it's missing. Poor thing sees Willie walking and Betty remembers that she had stolen, and then wore the MDB from her dream. Let's just say Willie was left standing around in her bustier and Betty backs right into the MDB. It attaches itself to her braces and the only way to get them off is to remove Betty's braces. Epic!
Daniel then sees Amanda walk by and he apologizes for being so mean to her earlier. When they hug, Tyler sees them. Afterward, Amanda tells Tyler that Daniel has given them his blessing. Instead of being happy, he freaks out on her. I love that Amanda has this moment of clarity and decides to just let them both go and deal with their family issues while she takes some time away from both of them. Our Amanda is growing up!
Back at the real Casa Suarez, the family shower Betty with post-braces awesomeness: Food she has avoided, lipsticks, etc. Then the doorbell rings and Justin goes to answer. It's Austin!!!
Aren't you glad Betty was born with crooked teeth?
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Photo credit: ABC