'Vampire Diaries' recap: Just Between Us Girls, Who Would You Have Picked?

tvd.jpgAlaric's a temporary Original. Rebekah tells Klaus they need to get out of town. When he says he wants to collect Elena first, the Beckster tells him he needs to leave now, with her, or he'll have no family left. Klaus is okay with that -- and who can blame him? Why any of the Mikaelsons even talk to each other is beyond me.

Vamparic kidnaps Caroline and orders Elena to meet him at the school. If she tells anyone, Caroline will be dead meat. The fierce but ridiculously reckless Miss Gilbert does not tell anyone, because the writers want us to think she's too stupid to live. Meanwhile, Klaus shows up at Gilbert Gables, looking for his doppelganger hybrid wet nurse. It's only then that anyone realizes Elena and her giant white cell phone are missing. What? You didn't think she was going to leave it behind -- all vulnerable to Stefan the Cell Phone Slayer.

Vamparic uses Elena and Caroline to lure Klaus and the Salvatores to the school, where he is torturing our poor Care Bear! Thank you, Show, for making me okay with Alaric's death. Bonnie proposes using the desiccation spell Abby cast on Mikael -- to disable Vamparic. My word, why didn't anyone think of that before, and use it on Klaus and kin? Vamparic doesn't have a daywalker ring, by the way, so the Fellowship of the Falls has about eight hours to fail... as we know they will.