'Vampire Diaries' recap: Pining For A White Oak Bridge Over the Fjord

tvd.jpg"Break On Through," intrigues me, in that parts of it are so bad, while others are so good. I might have a bad attitude, though, because there was only one character I didn't want to choke, and he only showed up in the last minute. Let's review this episode in chunks, shall we?

There's some Wickery Bridge event -- a kick-off to the restoration or something. Damon spars (verbally) with the Beckster, then spies Sage, who reveals that suicidal Finn Mikaelson turned her and is her soulless soul mate. While chatting up Damon, Sage refers to Rebekah as an "elitist original bitch." Welcome to the Fellowship of the Falls, Sage! Damon tells her he knows Rebekah is up to something, but he can't figure out what it is. Sage reminds him of the first lesson she taught him -- exploiting feminine weakness. And while I'm all for moving past this Son of White Oak plot, this is where I want to choke Sage, just on principle.

Damon goes back to Rebekah, turns on the Evil Pixie Monster charm, and invites her back to Mossy Manse for some depravity with Sage. Sage has compelled a piano player to be dinner and entertainment. Insecure, lonely Rebekah shows up, even though she hates Damon and Sage. This is when I want to choke Rebekah. After Damon does some cheesy sexy dancing with Sage, he again turns his wiles on the thousand year-old cheerleader, who's feeding on the piano player. Damon joins her for a snack, and I'm pretty sure they drain their victim dry, but his death doesn't even reach the level of being a plot point. This is when I want to choke Damon. Anyhow, he gets Rebekah in bed and wears her out. Once she's sleeping, Sage enters the room -- and Rebekah's mind. She sucks out the Son of White Oak conversation between Becky and Klaus. When Damon joins Sage in his covet-worthy shower, she kisses him and imparts the memory of the conversation to Damon's mind.

Damon finds the mill records from 1912 (and expect me to harp on this in the weecap, unless I just can't even bear to discuss it) and learns Son of White Oak earned the Salvatores mucho dinero. Apparently, even in 1912 Virginia, government spending was a hot topic because the wood from Son of White Oak was used to build Wickery Bridge. That means the wooden underpinnings can kill an Original. Sage reminds Damon that her twu wuv Finn is an Original, but Damon strikes a bargain with Sage -- if she helps him kill Rebekkah, Finn will be spared.