Watch Heidi Montag and Danielle Staub's friendship bloom in 'Famous Food' clip
And they'll have to choose from one of the most ragtag casts in recent memory -- including Eliot Spitzer call girl Ashley Dupre, "Bachelor" Jake Pavelka, "Sopranos" vet Vincent Pastore, world's most unlikely Oscar winners Three 6 Mafia and universally loathed reality stars Heidi Montag and Danielle Staub.
Naturally, the latter two instantly gravitated towards each other. In the premiere episode, Heidi and Danielle go out for a wine-and-scheming session, which included revelations both surprising (Heidi: "Oh my gosh, they have crepes! That's like my favorite thing in the world.") and completely expected (Danielle: "I worked in champagne rooms.")
They decide that they are clearly the most famous people on the show -- possibly true, but hardly something to brag about -- and form an unholy alliance, or, as they call it, a "super team." Watch their unlikely friendship blossom before your eyes:
Danielle doesn't get along well with everyone, though. She instantly butts heads with fellow stereotype Italian-American Vincent Pastore. He somehow manages to come across as racist and homophobic in his first 30 seconds on air, so we may be siding with Danielle on this one...
Don't get us wrong. This show is disgusting. And on our deathbed we'll probably most regret the handful of hours we wasted on it -- but we'll probably watch all the same.