XXI Winter Olympics

tvpartyw214.jpgIf you've been waiting four years to get your fix of top-notch international women's curling, your wait is finally over. Yes, the Winter Olympics, airing daily through Feb. 28 on NBC, are back and doing their thing in Vancouver. (That's Canada.) So if you love foreigners with runny noses, picturesque villages covered in snow and slow-motion camerawork on everything luge, call your friends and neighbors; we're throwing a Winter Olympics party!

Setting the scene:
Vancouver might not have the small-town cachet of Lake Placid, N.Y., or Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy, but it definitely has more Canadians per square mile than either place, meaning we need to create a winter wonderland with all the joie de vivre of a snow-covered piece of Canadian bacon. So turn your home into the Canadian Olympic Village. That means move in some rustic cabin furniture, some exposed knotty pine, a bearskin rug, some pine boughs covered in spray-on fake snow, homemade Olympic rings and children from around the world. You might have trouble adopting foreign children on such short notice, so we encourage you to use child-size mannequins dressed in a variety of foreign traditional clothing. Then add skis, snowboards, figure skates, hockey skates and some stuffed mascots from the games: Quatchi, Miga, Sumi and Mukmuk. Finish things off with a replica Olympic torch and a book of matches.

Attire:
Skiwear, snowsuits, figure skating apparel, speed-skating skins, Canadian hockey jerseys, Mountie outfits or torchbearer jackets.

On the menu:
Canadian bacon, Canadian ham, Canadian maple syrup, elk, halibut and caramelized beer onions. Delicious, eh? Then wash it all down with a Canadian mojito or a Molson using the Dick Button drinking game.

On the hi-fi:
Celebrate Canada! - Anne Murray, Celine Dion, Alanis Morissette, Shania Twain, k.d. lang, Sarah McLachlan, Avril Lavigne, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Bryan Adams, Gordon Lightfoot, Paul Anka and Rush.

The showstopper:
It might be too late for most of us to compete in the Olympics. But if you have a checkbook with actual money in it, you can try your hand at one of the coolest sports at the Winter Games: bobsledding. For $1,800 to $2,000, you can attend a bobsledding fantasy camp at either the Olympic Sports Complex in Lake Placid or Utah Olympic Park in Park City. Call (877) 463-7223, or check out Racingschools.com for more info.