TV Fashion: Joel of `Cavemen'
As if a gift from the heavens, Telefashion's been given the ability to judge books by their covers, and Joel's cover is a thick mat of
It's not that we're against hair, per se. It's just the timing that seems odd. America became a hairless society in the early 1990s based largely on Calvin Klein underwear ads and global warming. And since then we've developed technology that uses lasers - LASERS! - to remove hair from every surface and crevice imaginable to look like a skink dipped in vegetable oil.
So, does poor Joel (Bill English) and the rest of the ``Cavemen'' cast stand a chance against a culture that worships the young, smooth chests of soap opera stars? We're going to go out on a limb here and say no - but that is based more on the fact that the show sucks.
But, God forbid, what if we're wrong? Will ``Cavemen'' usher in a return of machismo, where the sight of a gold chain partially hidden in a nest of chest hair make women's hearts go a-flutter just as they did with
Again, we're not talking about facial hair here, we're talking about body hair. Thanks to ABC, there may soon be a day when women no longer shave their legs and men's backs resemble the downy cuteness of a baby goose. You know when you kiss someone and you get a piece of their hair in your mouth and it kinda grosses you out? Well, get used to that feeling.
Until that time - or until ABC cancels this show - we live under the constant threat of people we know and love becoming hairy. Ewww! But there are things we can do to educate our loved ones - namely let them know that we will stop being their loved ones if they ever start to resemble Joel; and that electrolysis is still better than sleeping alone.
Of course, it's not all bad news for Joel - he just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance.