'Underworld: Evolution'

By Norm Wilner, Zap2It.com | June 6, 2006

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Someday, when they write the history of wasted opportunities, the "Underworld" franchise will be right up there with ... oh, let's say "Scooby-Doo."

Seriously. A movie series about the eternal conflict between vampires and werewolves -- following a vampire "Death Dealer" who's spent centuries devoted to the extermination of the furry, ferocious Lycans, only to realize that the whole war has been fabricated by the man she's loved like a father for her entire un-life -- has all the trappings of a great, Gothic novel. And the fact that our heroine wears a leather-and-latex corset/catsuit thing probably didn't hurt the pitch.

But when it opened in the fall of 2003, "Underworld" turned out to be a big, dumb dud -- a movie so fully in love with its concept that it had lost all objectivity, and director Len Wiseman completely incapable of organizing all his footage of Kate Beckinsale shooting automatic weapons at all manner of digital monsters into anything resembling a coherent narrative. It looked great, sure, but it was an unholy mess to sit through.

"Underworld: Evolution" reunites Wiseman, Beckinsale and her catsuit for another round of carbine-driven carnage, and while the sequel may satisfy audiences who quiver at the thought of fine British actors discussing age-old conspiracies and betrayals while the fate of the world hangs in the balance, those of us who like our movies to make sense are once again out of luck.

Picking up just minutes after the end of the first film, "Evolution" finds Beckinsale's Selene and her vampire-Lycan hybrid beau (Scott Speedman) on the run from a vampire cleanup crew led by the mysterious Derek Jacobi, and from the bat-winged Marcus (Tony Curran), the father of all vampires, whose quest to free his brother -- the father of all werewolves -- from his eternal prison becomes the engine that drives this puppy.

Well, that's not entirely true. What really drives this puppy is director Wiseman's ecstacy at watching Beckinsale -- who's now his wife, by the way -- jump around in her catsuit and unload clip after clip of ammo at anything that gets in her way, eyes blazing and hair fluttering just so. If it was a distraction the first time around, it's an absolute fetish this time. But then, at least someone's getting something out of this utterly unnecessary film.

If you want to see how this kind of story should be told, check out "Night Watch," a brilliant Russian movie coming to video later this month. It makes sense and everything.

Sony's enhanced-widescreen DVD gets its special edition on with an audio commentary teaming director Wiseman with creature designer Patrick Tautopolis, assistant director Brad Martin and editor Nicholas de Toth. (Beckinsale was presumably off shooting "Click" with Adam Sandler on session day.) Also included are six production featurettes that add up to a 73-minute documentary, with special emphasis placed, as one might expect, on the creatures, stunts and visual effects, and a music video for Atreyu's "Her Portrait in Black" -- a song you'll forget as soon as it ends.

STUDIO: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
RELEASE DATE: June 6, 2006
RATING: R
PRICE: $28.95
TIME: 106 minutes
DVD EXTRAS: French audio dub; English and French subtitles; audio commentary; production featurettes; music video.
INTERNET SITE: sonypictures.com/underworldevolution