LOS ANGELES -- Ang Lee had just won the best director Oscar on Sunday (March 5) and in the press room, several buildings away, hundreds of reporters had begun their predictable winners stories, straight-forward pieces about triumphant gay cowboys riding off into the sunset clutching naked golden statues in their palms. Then Jack Nicholson changed everything.

The best picture goes to... "Crash."

Suddenly, Lee made his way to the media podium and what was supposed to be a coronation had transformed into a post-mortem.

"I was backstage enjoying the build-up I was familiar with -- we got the writers and me and then there was a surprise this year for me, frankly," Lee says, responding to the very first question, referencing his potential disappointment. "But congratulations to 'Crash' and the 'Crash' filmmakers."

Lee, winner of his first best director Oscar after disappointments on "Sense and Sensibility" and "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," didn't take stock in the conspiracy theories that certain voters just didn't feel comfortable seeing his movie at all.

"I don't know," he begins. "Actually, in box office, we did the best of all five movies and we've been winning and sweeping and whatever, but it just happened this way. I really don't know."

Diana Ossana, winner as "Brokeback" screenwriter, but loser as the film's producer, also seemed confused by the anecdotes about reticent older Academy members shunning the film.

"That's just silly," Ossana says, seconds before admitting that the triumphant evening was now "bittersweet." "It's a movie. I don't know what they're so afraid of."

Of course, for every confused and stunned Lee or Ossana, Oscar night yielded an elated Paul Haggis, writer-director-producer on "Crash." Even Haggis, though, faced a downer of a question to lead off, an inquiry as to whether the film's recent controversy surrounding production credits had muted their celebration.

"Do we look muted? Do our reactions look muted? Because we're pretty f***ing happy," the giddy Haggis declares.

Bafflement aside, the backstage at the Oscars was less about excuses or justifications than newfound Oscar winners realizing the accompanying perks.

"Mr. Clooney?" asks George Clooney, taken aback by the extra-polite address. "See, I win an Oscar and it's Mr. Clooney."

Silly and serious, the following are just a selection of the off-the-cuff comments compiled in the Academy press room:

• "Did I really say that? I meant my husband and my daughter, Leah. If I said that, it proves how nervous I was. Oh my God. Did I really say that?" -- "Crash" producer Cathy Schulman explaining her unorthodox decision to thank "my husband and my wife" in her acceptance speech.

• "You know, I literally lost all control of my bowels up there. I did think, 'Like maybe I'll bark at the end for my friend or something a quick 'Ruff,' you know, something,' but, I couldn't think. I was swimming in my head. So I was lucky to get out what I got out." -- Philip Seymour Hoffman, best actor winner for "Capote," explaining his decision not to honor a college-era deal to bark out an Oscar acceptance speech.

• "It's an original Christian Dior from 1955. And I found it in a vintage store in Paris, and it's mine. I'm so happy about that." -- "Walk the Line" best actress winner Reese Witherspoon emphasizing that she had avoided a repeat of her Golden Globes pre-worn dress fiasco.

• "Let me tell you something right now. I don't like that guy. I've seen him a lot; I've been spent a lot of time with him. I caught him stealing at the last awards show. So you take that home and you tell everyone. I'm very proud to be even in a game with those guys." -- Clooney, responding to a question from a Hong Kong newspaper about his reactions to Lee.

• "It was sad but, you know, these things happen. And it was very touching just to see how the English and the people around the world actually treated us as a great loss. And I didn't realize it was very valuable to people, so it was very touching." -- "Wallace and Gromit" winner Nick Park, thanking fans worldwide for their support after a fire at the Aardman warehouse destroyed millions in memorabilia.

• "You know, with the lead up to that, the adrenaline, the baby was going crazy. Poor baby. It was kicking around, but once I went onto the stage I think it's so overwhelming that I couldn't have hardly told you my name. So I didn't feel anything when I was up on stage." -- The very pregnant Rachel Weisz discussing her baby's reaction to her "Constant Gardener" win.

• "I mean I didn't make a big secret out of it, but I thought nobody would hire me again. You know, there's such a stigma about heart transplants, and there's a lot of us out there. And I got to tell you, I have the female heart, I think. It feels like it." -- Honorary winner Robert Altman on mentioning her heart transplant in his speech.