Boll Evil: Director Batters Critics
'BloodRayne' helmer celebrates own masculinity
Or at least that's what the "Alone in the Dark" and "BloodRayne" auteur appears to think.
On Sunday (Sept. 23), Boll pummeled a quartet of online critics in a series of boxing matches dubbed "Raging Boll" by sponsor GoldPalace.com. A press release from the online bookie (which describes itself as a "publicity-hungry internet casino") says that Boll "made history."
What kind of history?
Fed up with critics not appreciating the genius of films like "House of the Dead," Boll issued his challenge back in June, urging any scribe who wrote multiple negative reviews of his 2005 output to step into the ring with him. Boll, a trained fighter with 30 years of experience, announced that the writers who fought him would also get the chance to appear in the next Boll opus, "Postal."
Ultimately, Boll transported four writers to Vancouver -- Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka of SomethingAwful.com, Jeffrey Sneider of Aintitcoolnews.com, Chris Alexander of horror magazine Rue Morgu, and 17-yr-old Chance Minter. Minter's mom was also in attendance, though Boll didn't hit her.
The release boasts that Boll didn't hold back, boasting, "He served up savage hooks, head shots, and body blows, easily winning all four fights. None of the competitors lasted more than 2 rounds and all the fights ended by KO or TKO."
As bad as the beating may have been the critics will now suffer a worse humiliation: Appearing in an Uwe Boll movie.
Video of Boll kicking the snot out of several geeks is available at several online video receptacles. Crudely edited and pathetically one-sided, the fighters are still more entertaining than any movie Boll has ever made.