Hollywood's guide to green-card romances

Gerard Depardieu (remember when he was a sex symbol?) and Andie McDowell (remember when she was relevant?) marry so he can stay in the country and she can get a great apartment. When the INS pokes its collective nose in, the odd couple (she's a neat freak and he's a slob... and French) realize they really do love each other.

Lesson learned: Know your partner. Spend a few minutes exchanging facts, and the INS might not be able to successfully discredit your sham marriage.

-- Andy Grieser, Zap2it