Hollywood's guide to green-card romances

When Antonio (Tony Shalhoub, pre-detective) faces being sent back to Italy, Helen (Crystal Bernard) steps in to marry him. It works... except that the marriage contract stipulates she must wait a few years before getting a divorce.

Lesson learned: Read the fine print. A quickie sham marriage sounds appealing, but be sure you can get out of the deal when the INS is off your back.

-- Andy Grieser, Zap2it