Summer Movie Merch Madness

Batman: The Dark Knight

Grapnel Shooter
Critic's Rating: 3 stars

Don't call this toy a gun, it's a shooter. The product description hyperbolically boasts that it's "the ultimate transforming assault gadget…inspired by the hit movie" (which won't be released for another 3 months). Whatever. It shoots eight things—it's a gun. What it's not is a grapnel, and we have the failed-wall-scaling ass bruises to prove it.

Joker Bust
Critic's Rating: 4.5 stars

This collectible (it's not a toy!) made-to-order cold-cast porcelain sculpture is the only Joker merch we could buy without feeling complicit in exploiting Heath Ledger's untimely demise. Bonus: In 10 years it'll fetch a hell of a lot more on eBay than a T-shirt.

Also available: Fruit Roll-Ups, Joker makeup kit, Harvey Dent campaign materials

Noticeably absent: Anything based on the new, improved Maggie Gyllenhaal version of Rachel Dawes