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"We invite you to play along with the new TCA home game. It's called 'Count the Number of Times a Network Head Uses the Word "Excited" in Describing His Network's Schedule.' The winner gets a copy of the brand-new Blu-ray box set of 'The Paul Reiser Show.'" -- "Community's" Joel McHale warming up the crowd before the NBC executive session
"NBC knows how to capitalize on the young demo and get to be No. 1 again. We're going to wait for all the old people watching CBS and ABC to die. That's right. NBC's new slogan is changing from 'More Colorful' to 'Just one more step and you'll be at the bottom of the stairs, grandma.'"
"My show 'Community' is back. The Chevy Chase babysitting service premieres its third season Sept. 22. And good news, once again 'Community' tied the 'The Jersey Shore' in Emmy nominations. Yeah. Eat that, 'Ghost Hunters.'"
"What is 'The X Factor'? What is it? Who knows? I can tell you here this morning I know what the X factor is. Paula Abdul is the X factor. Will she show up for the show? Will she slur her speech? Will she know where she is?"