Stripper shoes, fake bar mitzvahs and the stuff above the cake

LOS ANGELES -- Helen Mirren is one of the most respected actresses of her time, a Dame of the British Empire and, after taking home a trophy Sunday night playing Queen Elizabeth I in an HBO miniseries, a three-time Emmy winner.

This regal and dignified woman wore a lovely white gown to the Emmy ceremony, tastefully accessorized with a minimal amount of jewelry. And, as she showed the assembled reporters backstage at the Shrine Auditorium, a pair of clear-heeled, platform stripper shoes.

"It's an instant six inches on your leg," Dame Helen explains. Apparently that sort of thing comes in handy when you're wearing a full-length gown with a bit of a train. She purchased the shoes, she says, "on Hollywood Boulevard. I think I paid about $49.99 for them."

Mirren's choice of footwear was probably the most surprising revelation the folks in the press tent bore witness to on Sunday, but it was hardly the only one. For example:

"My Name Is Earl" director Marc Buckland joked onstage after winning his award that he hadn't been that nervous since his bar mitzvah. Afterward, he admitted that he hasn't, in fact, been bar mitzvahed. "I just thought it would get a laugh."

Fellow "Earl" winner Greg Garcia (writing for a comedy) revealed that yes, his eighth-grade social studies teacher Mr. McAdoo and his former boss on "Step by Step" were people he really didn't want to thank for his award. He backtracked a bit, though, for not thanking God, because He has taken most of Garcia's hair. "I was just messing with God," Garcia says.

Adorable "Girl in the Cafe" winner Kelly Macdonald seemed to be clutching her statuette rather tightly. "It's protecting me," she explained. "I still think someone's going to take it off me." She also revealed that "I was kind of hoping one of the others would win. It was so nerve-wracking out there. Joan Collins was sitting behind me!"

Tony Shalhoub won his third Emmy win (and second straight) for "Monk," and he painted a nice picture of just what that feels like: "What comes after deja vu? Deja trois? ... This is so far above the icing on the cake. This is the smoke above the candles on the icing on the cake."

Also surprised was "Law & Order: SVU" star Mariska Hargitay. "It's crazy. I'm winning my first Emmy in my eighth season -- on a police procedural. Who wins in police procedurals?" She then, between giggles, answered her own question: "I do! I guess I say, 'Where were you Tuesday night?' really well."

Julia Louis-Dreyfus on whether her win for "The New Adventures of Old Christine" will finally retire the alleged "Seinfeld" Curse: "Yeah."

"The Office" executive producer Greg Daniels learned you shouldn't make a toy out of the pointiest award in showbiz. Steve Carell was jokingly describing how the show's set is home to "a lot of animosity and friction," and to drive home the point, Daniels pantomimed bludgeoning his star with his best comedy Emmy.

But alas, tragedy struck. "I cut myself on the Emmy just now," Daniels revealed. "So it's a night of ups and downs."