TV Party: 'American Idol'
Setting the scene: Streamers, confetti, scattered glitter, blinking lights and a homemade stage with the biggest karaoke machine you can find are the prime accents for the evening. Fill the house with signs that say (fill in the blanks) "We Love _!" or "_ Is No. 1!" or "_ Is My Boo!" and you're well on your way. "Auditions" can take place onstage during commercial breaks and/or after the show while the three guests who most closely resemble the "AI" judges (draw straws) can give constructive and otherwise useless criticism. Don't forget the karaoke tapes for "Bridge Over Troubled Water" and "MacArthur Park."
Attire: Anything goes on "AI." However the surest bets are T-shirts two sizes too small for the guys and feathered earrings for the gals. But a truly exceptional host would visit the American Idol store and buy parting gifts. Don't forget, as the party's host you should only answer to "Ryan." Wear a velvet sport coat over a Led Zeppelin jersey and jeans. We suggest consulting your hair care professional regarding just how spiky is too spiky and a quick trip to the drugstore to grab some Crest Whitestrips. (His name is Seacrest and he has crazy white teeth - you do the math.)
On the menu: This is definitely a finger food event. For starters, we recommend the Paula Abdul cheese platter and the Randy Jackson hot dawgs topped with a heaping helping of Simon Cowell sauerkraut. Also, no alcohol - it would just make things uglier.
On the hi-fi: Conceivably you could grab compact discs of past winners and runners-up, but between the show itself and that karaoke machine, you really shouldn't need them.
The showstopper: Hold on to your hats, kids, cuz William Hung is available for your party! For just $7,500 (plus travel and accommodations), the infamous season three auditioner will perform his "hits" - including, but not limited to, "She Bangs," "Rocket Man" and "Hotel California" - at your event. And frankly, that seems pretty reasonable to us. Kinda. Visit for more information.
With Hung performing, the party will go from "Just aiight," as Jackson would say, to "It captured my heart" a la Abdul.
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