TV Party: 'Las Vegas'
Setting the scene: Vegas is all about glitz and glamour. But that doesn't mean good taste needs to rear its ugly head. Blinking lights and gaming tables can be rented and you can surely find a child willing to make a sign saying "Miss Kitty's Chicken Ranch" for the front den. For decorative accents, groupings of three cherries strategically placed will make everyone feel like winners. And don't be afraid to give guests big plastic cups with quarters in exchange for their car keys - especially if they drive something nice.
Attire: For the ladies we suggest something akin to the tasteful attire of a showgirl from Caesars Palace. Wrap your head in an ostrich feather boa, slip into rhinestone bra and pin a few peacock feathers to your derriere and just wait for those room keys to trickle in. For the guys, we recommend shiny suits or thrift store tuxedos one size too small. At no point during the evening should you be without a martini. Call every guy Sammy and every doll Baby.
On the menu: Vegas means "never-ending buffet" in Spanish, so we recommend a nice Rack (Pack) of Lamb as an entree and a bottomless bucket of shrimp cocktail as the hors d'oeuvres.
On the hi-fi: Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr.Tom Jones, Elvis, Wayne Newton and, lest we forget, Celine Dion.
The showstopper: Few things scream Las Vegas more than the dancing waters of the Bellagio. (Well, perhaps white tigers, but they've been proven to be unruly.) Of course, we don't expect you to shell out the reported $40 million the Bellagio did to create its spectacle - especially since next week you'll be throwing a party based on "Lost" and you'll need a place to park the tail section of the Boeing 747. But cuz we got your back, we've figured out how to re-create the dancing waters on the cheap. All you'll need is a boombox with a recording of "Fly Me to the Moon," six 100-foot garden hoses, and six children with a sense of rhythm and the capability to aim flashlights while squirting the hoses skyward. Trust us, you can barely tell the difference. Then, once the yard is under water, throw on some "O Sole Mio," stick one of the kids in a canoe and you've got the gondola rides at the Venetian.
If you ever plan to become a high-roller, this is the party to get you started.
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