We paraphrase a fairly well-read manuscript when we say, ``The nerd shall inherit the Earth.'' And when that time comes, we should be prepared to feign nerdiness in order to get our piece of the pie. Have no idea what we're talking about? Well, those crazy kids over at NBC thought the concept would make a quality viewing experience, which is why they gave the go-ahead to ``Chuck,'' airing Mondays. Saving the world at $11 an hour makes anything seem possible - including having a great time at a nerd party.

Setting the scene: A giant ``Welcome Nerd Herd'' banner should be placed above the front door, and pocket protectors with name tags can be handed out to guests upon entry. The decor should be early geek, meaning computers should be featured prominently - your Commodore 64 should be displayed as if it were a Ming vase - and video games available on various TVs. Place Dungeons and Dragons on a card table - remember, role playing is an important part of the nerd lifestyle. During commercial breaks, have raffles for T-shirts that say, ``How 'bout you interface with my laptop?''

Attire: For Chucks of the party: Short-sleeved white button-downs with a white crew-neck T-shirt underneath - all tucked into your underwear, of course. For Morgans of the party, recommend green polos with ``Buy More'' ironed on. (Taped horn-rimmed glasses are also a nice touch.) Tough guys can dress like Maj. John Casey and wear navy or black business suits. And someone - like the caterers - should be in ninja outfits. True dorks can come as any of their favorite role-playing characters.

On the menu: Macaroni and cheese, ramen noodles, cheese pizza and a tower of subs from Subway. And serve beer in plastic cups, because nerds feel most comfortable in a collegiate setting, and that means beer in plastic cups.

On the hi-fi: Nerds love greatest hits compilations. We suggest Weird Al Yankovic, Devo, They Might Be Giants, Kraftwerk, S.P.O.C.K. and, of course, N.E.R.D. And maybe ``The Best of Bond ... James Bond'' just in case.

The showstopper: Nerds don't travel well, but sometimes they'll make an exception. For example, make this party international by bringing everyone to Hyderabad, India - home of Microsoft's India Development Center. Why not finally meet the people you talk to every day for tech support?