TV Fashion: Corey Haim of `The Two Coreys'
Seeing Corey Haim as a 35-year-old sheds new light on the current interest in '80s fashion - and it's clearly better left as a fuzzy memory of times gone by. ''License to Drive,'' ''Watchers'' and ''Blown Away'' are now considered classics in the ''not really'' sort of way, and Haim - along with co-star Corey Feldman - is a blatant reminder that youth is fleeting. Seriously, it hurts to look at these guys.
At best, during their heyday, they were graphic examples of excessive trendsetting. Z. Cavaricci, Vuarnet and Body Glove were dripping off of these two and, in turn, the rest of us. Remember Chess King and Merry Go Round? Haim is at least partially to blame for their temporary success. If there weren't a statute of limitations on fashion disasters we should all consider a class action suit.
But times change - sort of - and we need to change with them. Corey, are you reading this? He was regularly spotted in mesh shirts and parachute pants, as was his partner in crime, Feldman. That's not to say Haim didn't move on from the '80s and his pleated balloon-dress slacks; he certainly did. He just got bogged down somewhere around 1994 - immersed in a Hollywood grunge vibe that features sleeveless T-shirts, dog tags and boot-cut jeans with rolled-up cuffs. And the earrings make us long for the days when George Michael made headlines for singing.
Nevertheless, Haim's style is worth examining - if only to serve as a warning to others. Frosted tips on gelled hair over pale skin may be OK for those walking out of Supercuts, but for celebrities trying to make a comeback it's a bad plan. Actually, it's a bad plan for anyone - and yes, we apologize to everyone affiliated with Supercuts. Gelled hair and necklaces are a call for help. Add to that Corey's chunky pinkie rings, crocheted skullcaps, occasional beret and overall sartorial unconsciousness and we regret that it appears ''Lost Boys 2: The Tribe'' may actually happen.
So far, the only pieces of clothing on Haim that have been acceptable is a shearling bomber jacket and a shearling jacket with spilled seams. Somehow shearling seems to absorb much of the ghastliness that is Haim's wardrobe. The jackets also hide his tattoos, which might be acceptable if his arms had any definition whatsoever. To quote Jimmy Buffett, tattoos are ''permanent reminders of a temporary feeling.'' That suddenly feels a lot like the two Coreys.